When Vocaloids Get Sick
by Neji10vsJadeC
Summary: When Kaito happens to get sick with an unknown illness, the other Vocaloids struggle on finding a way to cure him.  We do not own these characters :3


_ He didn't forget did he? No of course he didn't._ Gakupo tapped his fingers on the table, irritated. He glanced again at the clock. _Would he even forget this? They had been planning this outing for weeks, he couldn't forget this_. He looked at the clock another time. The seconds ticked slowly, and as they did Gakupo became more and more annoyed. Once the second hand on the clock completed its revolution for the umpteenth, Gakupo slammed his fist down and admitted defeat. _That bastard! He forgot! AGAIN!_

He stormed out of his room and stomped to the blue door at the end of the hall.

"Kaito, what the hell? We're supposed to have left half an hour ago!" Kaito was lying in his bed, seemingly asleep. _What the hell was he doing still sleeping? _ Gaku's hands were balled into fists as he marched towards Kaito's bed. He grabbed Kaito by the shirt and was about to yell at him when he noticed something was wrong.

Kaito's face was completely drained of color; it was literally white. His eyes were shut tight and his mouth slightly open, taking in deep breaths. He was having trouble breathing through his nose, and his face was dripping wet. Gaku's eyes widened as he realized just how bad the situation was. He quickly let go of Kaito's shirt, only for Kaito's head to plummet back onto his pillow.

"Sorry! Oh I...This isn't good... What to do, what to do?" Gaku paced back and forth across the room. He scratched his forehead and stared at Kaito for awhile.

"What do I do? I should go get someone-" Just then, Rin and Len barged into the room right on cue.

"KAITO-NI-SANN~! PLAY WITH US~!" They said at the same time, smiling their hearts out.

"You two will have to play with him later. We were supposed to have gone half an hour ago."

They both laughed and smirked at each other.

"Then why are you both still here~?" Len asked.

"So much for that!" Rin said slyly as she smiled and walked forward.

At that moment something clicked in Len's head and he stared at Kaito.

"Ne ne, Gaku? Is Kaito-ni ok?" He asked.

Gaku shook his head, then something clicked in Rin's mind.

"Kaito? Why are you asleep at this hour? C'mon lazy bum! Get outta bed!" She pulled on his scarf and he fell out of the bed and landed on a heap on the floor. A small groan came with his landing. Rin looked at him curiously."Kaito-ni-san?" She poked him a few times, then turned to Gaku. "Gakupo, Is Kaito-ni dead?"

"Yes..." Came a small groan from under the scarf.

"Kaito-ni! Are you ok?" Len asked.

"Well I-" But Kaito didn't get to finish because he was then grabbed by Rin, who shook him violently.

"Kaito-ni-saaaannnnnn~! Wake up and come play!" Rin yelled at the now nearly-dying Kaito.

Gaku's face went white.

"Rin please put Kaito down... He NEEDS some sleep or peace at least!"

"I agree with Gakupo, please Rin?"

Rin smiled evilly at Len. "You don't want to be repeatedly smacked into the ground again, do you~?"

Len's eyes widened and all the color in his face drained completely away. Gaku felt some pity for Len, but he smirked nonetheless. He then looked at poor Kaito, dangling from Rin's hand. He looked like he was deliberately trying to suffocate himself.

"Rin can you just put Kaito back in his bed please?" Gaku slowly started walking towards her.

"But Gakupo, I want to play with Kaito-ni~!"

"He can play with you later." Gaku edged closer and hurriedly grabbed Kaito from Rin, fearing that she'd hurt (or kill) him somehow. He quickly put Kaito on the bed, hoping that he wouldn't be disturbed again.

"But Gakuuu~!" Rin pouted.

He stood between her and Kaito and shook his head at her. _Now all I have to do is get them out and lock the door so Kaito can sleep. _Butat that moment it appeared that there would be a slight problem with that. Miku came into the room. She was pale and out of breath and hung her head low with her green hair covering her eyes. For a moment Gakupo would've swore that she too had something wrong with her. He considered asking her, but Len beat him to the chase.

"Mi-Miku-dono…" he sighed.

Miku's eyes widened as she noticed Kaito was lying on the bed and tears started trickling from her eyes.

"K-K-K-KAITO NI-SANNNNNN" she screamed. She jumped upon Kaito and clutched his body as if he was going to disintegrate in a matter of seconds, and that somehow her fierce grasp would prevent this. "Kaito why did you die? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?" she screamed as she clenched his body tighter, begging for him to come back.

Gakupo glanced at his friend and debated if saying something to Miku would maybe save him from being strangled to death, or from him drowning in Miku's falling tears. The shock from the entire event left him and Len standing there awkwardly, as their friend cried over the death of a friend that was not dead.

"M-miku", Kaito muttered softly, "Miku I'm not dead..." Kaito gave a half smile at Miku and it stopped her bawling for a few moments. The boys all let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness that was over. _We should really think of a cure for Kaito, or at least figure out what's wrong with h-_

"KAITO DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE! I'M SORRY I BULLIED YOU! I TAKE IT ALL BACK BUT DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE!

The bawling, screaming, and squeezing was now more vicious and much more violent than before.

"M-MIKU!" Len shouted at her "You're going to kill him!"

Miku buried her face once again into Kaito's mauled body.

"Gakupo, Kaito isn't dead is he?" Rin spoke in a manner of both worry and amusement.

"N-no I don't think so...But at this rate..." Gakupo cut off to stare at Miku as she pleaded for Kaito to come back to earth.

"What's all the commotion about?" Luka asked as she entered the room. "Are we out of tuna or something?"

"It's not like that Luka-sempai!" Len shouted. "Kaito is ill!"

"Oh," Luka muttered "Miku-dono, If you would move for a moment, I know something that would help all of us."

Miku looked up for a moment with blurry watery eyes and nodded with the smile of her friend. Miku backed off Kaito as he took a breath of fresh air for the first time in a while, now that Miku's heavy body was off him. Luka then approached Kaito and cracked her knuckles. She signaled for Gakupo to approach them. Gakupo agreed and moved towards his comatose friend. Luka sighed "This hopefully won't take long" The others stared at her intently waiting for her plan of action.

Luka then thrusted Gakupo into Kaito's stomach and held him there for a matter of moments.

"LUKA-DONO! WH-WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" Len shouted to her.

Luka made no movement. "He'll die faster this way", she spat. The room sat in silence for a while until Luka released her grasp on Gakupo and let him fall to the floor.

"He isn't contagious is he?" Rin asked. She wasn't given an answer before Miku tackled Kaito once again and began crying begging for Kaito to come back to life.

"…so cold." Gakupo muttered under his breath. "Why does Luka hate me so much...?"

Luka promptly left the room without giving either Kaito or Gakupo a second thought.

The room was silent except for Kaito's weak panting and Miku's muffled bawling.

"Gakupo you really screwed up this time!" Rin shouted at him mockingly. "Look at how hurt Luka was! You're so horrible!"

Gakupo sat in silence. He had no desire to fight with Rin on how he was innocent. There were other problems. "Len-dono, do you know what to do to help Kaito?"

Len shrugged. Rin went up to Kaito and poked his face.

" AAREEEEE YOUUUUU INNNN THEEEEREEEEE" She shouted in his ear.

Both Len and Gakupo sighed. There was no mercy from her.

"Rin!" Miku shouted "Show some respect for the dead...the dead...Kaito...WAHHH" She sobbed once again. Gakupo was starting to wonder how her body could supply so many tears. He couldn't decide if it was impressive, or just sad.

Meiko poked her head in the room. "Everyone I'm making dinner. What does everyone want?" She stepped in further. "Huh? What happened to Kaito?" she asked.

"Meiko we don't know how to get him back to normal" Len said "Do you know any cures that don't involve murdering Gakupo as well?"

Gakupo sat in silence, debating if Len's comment was kind, or harsh.

"Of course I know a cure!" Meiko said, beaming. "Nee-san knows all!"

Miku jumped off Kaito and ran to Meiko. "I never knew you could cure the dead!" Miku said with tears still in her eyes.

"Sure... let's go with that Miku-chan" Meiko said awkwardly. "Anyways, I have a cure for everything! Let me go get it!" She ran off down the hallway.

"She'll make Kaito-ni better, right?" Len said beaming. "Then we can play with him, right Rin?" Rin nodded gleefully.

"You two know that Kaito and I had plans right?" Gakupo said, twitching noticeably.

"So?" The twins said grinning.

"You two..." Gakupo's rage was cut off by Meiko re-entering the room.

"TA-DAAAA" Meiko said beaming as she re-entered the room. The room was silent as they glanced in her hand to see what her cure was. Gakupo couldn't believe it.

"Meiko...is that..."

"A bottle of sake?" Rin and Len chimed in.

"Yep 3"

"Meiko," Gaku started, "I don't think that will-"

"Gakupo! I've done this thousands of times! It works!"

Len tried to intervene. "You know curing real people might be different than curing stuffed animals Meiko-"

"Well then Len, if YOU know a better idea let's hear it, in the meantime_ I_ am going to cure Kaito! Just you wait and see!"

Even Kaito in his half-conscious state knew something was going to go horribly wrong. Meiko happily walked over to Kaito and grabbed his chin to hold him still. She took the sake bottle, and jammed it into his mouth. Kaito grimaced as the bottle locked into place between his teeth. Meiko smiled happily and tipped his head back a bit to let the drink pour down his throat. Kaito sputtered a few times but soon enough the entire bottle was drained of its liquid. Meiko stepped back as Kaito stayed sitting up in his bed. He stared off into space for awhile.

"See? All cured!" Meiko said happily.

Everyone moved in closer to look and see if Kaito really was fine. He turned his head towards them and let out a hiccup. His head then plummeted back on his pillow, completely knocked out.

"KAITO-NI!" Miku yelled and started balwling all over again. She crouched by Kaito's bed and cried over his, what she thought to be, corpse. Rin laughed hysterically as Len stared at Kaito.

"I-Is he actually dead?" He said. Everyone but Miku looked at Meiko.

"Of course he's not! He's just… sleeping! He'll be fine now!" She smiled at everyone and left to make dinner.

"KAITOOOOOOOOOOOOO ? GODDDD PLEASE SAVE HIMMMMMMMMM!"

"Miku? Please stop…. He's not dead. He's 'sleeping' as Meiko said. Yes that's right, there is no way that Meiko would somehow have accidentally poisioned our sick friend by giving him alcohol, therefore making him pass out, and now his body is now trying to deal with two things at once that are nearly fatal."

Rin nodded at Gakupo's logic.

Len backed slowly out of the room "I think maybe I'll get a doctor…a REAL doctor…"

A loud bang was then heard from down the hallway.

"What the heck can go wrong NOW?" Gakupo muttered.

"Maybe Meiko died as well." Rin said, being indeterminately serious or sarcastic.

It took perhaps half a second for Miku to only partially comprehend Rin's comment. She jumped off Kaito and ran screaming into the kitchen. Rin took a few steps backwards in shock.

"Gakupo…I was kidding! I didn't mean for Meiko to die! This isn't my fault is it? I didn't mean it!" She dashed out of the room as well.

Gakupo wasn't sure if she was dashing out of compassion for her apparently lost friend, or out of fear of committing assisted murder. Either way this was his chance to give Kaito some rest. Gakupo sprang up and slammed Kaito's door shut, locking it as well. The room was still for the first time in a long while. Gakupo went up to his friend. He stared at him for a few moments hoping that some epiphany would come to mind on how to cure him. He was sure that with his mighty samurai skills he could tap into the forces of karma and think of something…..maybe if he meditated? He sat down to meditate. Gakupo closed his eyes annnnnd~ fell into thought. The spirits began to whisper possible diseases and their cures. Mono, tuberculosis, chicken pox, depression, pneumonia, heat exhaustion...The Web MD spirit was very useful. There was a brief set of bangs on the door.

"GAKUPO! NOOOOOO! GAKUPO WHY DID YOU DIEEEEEEEEEE!"

Gakupo could hear Miku's nails scratch on the door in her loving yet very creepy way. Gakupo tried to tune her out. Back to a possible diagnosis. It could be, anemia, diabetes, cancer, AIDS, overdose, lactose intolerance, appendicitis, Polymorphous light eruption, food poisoning, a concussion, the black plague, small pox...Gakupo began to think this might be serious. What if Kaito had a combination of two diseases?

"GAKUPO! KAITO! PLEASE COME BACK! PLEASE! I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!" Gakupo could hear Rin and Meiko muttering outside the door.

"Oyyyyy Gakupo?" Meiko shouted. "You should just leave him alone, he'll wake up eventually 3"

"Don't tell me your doing naughty things to Kaito, Gakupo~" Rin said mockingly, "You know he's out, right~? Thats so wrong!"

This was enough to slam Gakupo out of his meditative focus. "I AM DOING NOTHING OF THE SORT!" He yelled at the door.

Gakupo could hear muttering of the two girls, and Luka now joined them.

"We must tear down this door...to save Kaito of course" Luka said loud enough for Gakupo to hear. "Then I can punish Gakupo. Miku if you'd just step away from the door..."

"BUT, BUT, KAITO AND GAKUPO ARE DEAD! I WONT LEAVE THEM! I'M GOING TO DIE HERE TOO!"

Gakupo could hear the sound of the females picking up Miku and dragging her away. Well now what? He couldn't let them tear down the door; they would kill him, for real this time. Gakupo quickly paced back and forth. _What do I do? What do I do? _ As if things couldn't get any worse! He knew what he must do. He would pile furniture in front of the door! Yes perfect! He started scanning the room for good pieces of furniture.

It was then that Gaku realized how utterly disgusting the room was. There were clothes stacked in large piles with other questionable items mixed in as well. There was a book shelf, but there was a huge pile in front of it, and books scattered all over the room. There was some mold in the carpet, from what he could tell and see in the small patches that lacked clothing. _Once Kaito gets better, the first thing he'll do id clean his room! _Gaku promised, making his fist into a ball.

He then noticed a blue desk that was in the corner of the room. He pushed it in front of the door, and soon after he pushed its chair infron of the door as well. He then pushed the blue armchair right up against the desk, to keep it in place. He noticed that one of the desk drawers were open, so he decided to check out what was in it. He slowly opened it and his mouth dropped open. CLOTHES? There are CLOTHES in his DESK? What the heck? He opened all of the drawers to find his regular outfit, some under wear, jeans, and shirts with images of ice cream on them in his DESK DRAWERS. _Okay then...wait... what's in his closet? _He ran over to the closet , flung the doors open, and stopped cold. Literally. Cold air blasted out from the closet, which was actually a FREEZER. It had at least seven shelves all piled high with ICE CREAM. The only things that weren't ice cream were the spoons, bowls, napkins, and ice cream cones on the bottom shelf. He started getting goose bumps on his arms. He scanned the shelves for anything other than ice cream and found a sock. A SOCK. He shut the closet/freezer doors. He WOULD have that. It's no wonder he got sick, his diet was horrible. He should like better foods...like eggplant.

"RODU ROLLA!" Was shouted over the sounds of a machine clanking together smashing together and destroying what sounded like other parts of the house. Gakupo's face went white and he froze in place. _I'm going to be killed along with Kaito! _He looked for a place to run, to hide, SOMEWHERE. But, alas, the only places to hide were under Kaitos bed, or in his closet...or freezer. All places were terrible hiding spots. No choice but to take Kaito to the furthest corner, and fight. He could take the girls; after all, their lives depended on it. In all movies the hero would always be in a situation like this and then pull through simply because they are the hero. Gakupo knew he was the hero, so he was ready to fight. He drew his sword. This was it. He waited a few moments. The machines stopped.

"Ahhhhh but it's not our fault!" Rin pouted "we had no choice! We had to..." There were people muttering outside. Gakupo stood frozen with a mix of sheer joy and confusion. Had he just beaten the girls with his willpower and thoughts? Were the girls coming back to plot something else? Is it really NOT butter? Gakupo did not know the answers. There were a couple knocks on the door. Gakupo stood his ground.

There was another round of knocks on the door, but Gakupo refused to move. The knocking became increasingly impatient. _What in the world? _

"Gakupo open the frickin' door." Said a voice Gakupo recognized all too well.

His face went pale and he quickly ran to the door and started throwing furniture out of the way. The door flew open.

"I'm so sorry master! This wasn't my fault! I swear! I was protecting Kaito from THEM! Really-" It was at that moment that he noticed the giant yellow road roller parked only a mere three feet from him. He pointed at it shakily. "Why is there a road roller in the house...? And why are there holes in the walls?"

"Everyone get in the living room, now!" Master said firmly. He sighed and walked towards the sofa.

A few minutes later everyone was sitting on the three sofas in the living room. Gakupo was sitting uncomfortably next to Master. Meiko was sitting happily on one of the other sofas, with a bottle of sake in her hand. Rin was sitting straight up, with her hands on her lap, and an innocent smile across her face. Sitting next to Rin was Luka, totally absorbed in her book. Len was sitting on the other side of master, nervously tapping his fingers on his leg. And Kaito was lying across the remaining sofa. One hand was resting over his chest and the other was flopped over the edge of the sofa. It was being cradled in Miku's shaking hands as she sobbed hysterically about getting in trouble and the loss of her best friend (or potential love interest).1

"Gakupo, what happened here? I leave the house for a few minutes to go grocery shopping, and when I come back there are holes in the walls of my house, a road roller parked in the hallway, and Gakupo and Kaito were locked in Kaito's room doing who knows what. And now look at him! Kaito almost looks like he's dead!"

"KAAAAAIIIIITTTTTTTOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Miku screamed.

Master sighed

"Gakupo what the hell happened?" He asked, looking VERY worried.

"It wasn't my fault! The girls were trying to kill Kaito!"

Master looked over at Rin.

"It wasn't my fault~! I was only trying to get Gakupo out of Kaito-ni's room! He was doing all sorts of naughty things to Kaito. 3"

"Gaku what were you-"

"I WAS DOING NOTHING OF THE SORT! I had to make sure Meiko and you all didn't come back with ANOTHER bottle of sake!"

Meiko took a huge gulp of sake before defending herself.

"I was only helping him. It was Luka's fault for jamming Gaku's head into Kaito's rib cage." She said absent-mindedly, waving her bottle around.

Everyone looked at Luka.

"I was trying to get Gakupo to get Kaito's sickness. It's Miku's fault for suffocating him and making his condition worse." Luka said, not looking up from her book.

Miku barely noticed the stares she was getting due to her excessive crying. Gakupo needed to shout at her to even get her attention.

"It was Rin's fault for strangling him and shaking him! ALL RIN'S FAULT! RIN WHY WOULD YOU KILL HIM? I HATE YOU!" She said between sobs.

Rin rolled her eyes. "I was trying to wake him up! Plus it was Len's fault because Len said he wanted to go get Kaito to play us, but in the end he ran off to get master!" Rin yelled at Miku, and glared at Len. "Now look! This all would've been fine had you not run off like a baby!"

"I was trying to help Kaito-ni! Gaku was already in the room anyways!" Len started to tear up from all the pressure.

"I agree with Len" Luka said still entranced in her book. "It's always Gakupo's fault"

Gaku looked blankly at the group. _So in the end I was blamed for all of this?_

"Kaito and I had something planned, and he was late, so I went to his room to get him and when I got there he was in his bed sleeping!"

"Suuuuuuuuuuure~" Rin said smiling.

"Hey! I was!" Gaku said defensively.

"Gakupo is clearly lying." Luka said without looking up "It's written all over his face."

"Luka how can you even _see_ my face if you're NOT LOOKING AWAY FROM YOUR BOOK! This whole mess is probably your fault anyways! You probably got Kaito to act the way he was in an attempt to make me sick! What do you even want from me anyways?" Gakupo spat back at Luka.

The room was broke into a verbal war of shouting and pointing on who was really at fault. Len and Miku were crying, Rin and Luka were picking fights with Gakupo, and Meiko just sipped her sake until the bottle ran dry.

"All right! Enough!" Master said slamming his fist on the table. "So what everyone is telling me, that before they got there, Kaito was already like this somewhat. Correct?"

Gaku nodded his head and thought about all of the possible diseases Kaito might have, but he didn't tell Master anything. Master got up, walked over to Kaito's couch, and put his hand on Kaito's head.

"Everyone" Master sighed "Do you know how to cure someone when they are sick?"

The Vocaloids all glanced at one another.

"Of course! 3 *hic* With a bottle of sa-"

"No Meiko, sake is NOT a way to fix this"

The others sat in silence.

At that point Miku had a revelation.

"Everyone! Kaito has a pulse! He's ALIVE!" She now wept tears of joy as she cradled Kaito's precious head in her arms. Everyone facepalmed. Even Master. _Come to think of it_, Gakupo thought, _this whole incident was a facepalm_.

To Be Continued...?


End file.
